Well I will admit, my decision to see this movie mainly revolved around the fact that Elisha Cuthbert is hot. I've heard the hype about the billboard scandal, honestly I was more interested in the fact that the director (Roland Joffe) also did the Super Mario Bros movie. Most of the reviews I've read gave Captivity a negative review and after seeing the first few scenes I was hoping to have something more positive to say as it does start out promisingly enough. Once Miss Sexyface gets kidnapped though, things just start getting worse and don't stop til it's over.
We're given no character development, aside from the interaction between the two captives, and even then nothing that evokes empathy. We're shown snippets of interviews that ostensibly have been taped by the captors and that I guess are played randomly throughout the day on a multitude of different montors/tv's set up around the house. I spent more time thinking about what it would take to rig that all up than about the unfolding plot, so I guess it's entirely possible I missed some all-revealing detail. It seems that we are supposed to identify with the killer and his desire to own something that everyone else wants rather than the captive Jennifer Tree (Cuthbert). Add in the home videos of Gary and Ben when they're younger (taped by the father? third unseen brother? who knows) and it really does seem like we're supposed to feel more pity for the bad guys than the victim.
I think if I had to pick one scene that typified Captivity it would have to be when the Jennifer and Gary (Daniel Gillies) make sweet beautiful love. It was probably the most contrived example among a number of situations and scenes that felt like the director was thinking "hey.. wanna see what ELSE I thought up? Check this out." It served no purpose other than I guess to make it that much more shocking when Gary turns out to be one of the captors. Oh did I ruin it? No I didn't, you can see it coming a mile away. The film also stars Pruitt Taylor Vince as Captor #1 who I haven't seen in quite a while and who I really like for some reason. Unforunately with the look that he has I can't really see him playing in much more significant parts than he is given here.
As far as the gore/torture/mind games they were definately stronger than expected, but ultimately brought me back to thinking "I don't know anything about this woman, why do I care?" The majority of the squirm scenes are psychological in nature, and for those types of scares to work you need to be invested in the person they're being wrought upon.
Rounding out the ineffective items in this movie are two throwaway cops who decide everything is fine and so they stay at the house to watch a basketball game. No seriously. I guess they figure they've investigated their one case for the day so time to kick back at a suspects house watching tv. The twist at the end was definitely not expected, I'll give them that, but again it was simply ineffective. The model-turned-vigilante thing may have worked if there was any character development, something for us to cheer about and be happy that poor Jennifer got free and now she's taking revenge, but there wasn't. It felt like another case of Joffe thinking "hey wouldn't it be neat if.." without putting any substance behind it. If you haven't noticed, I really felt this movie would have benefitted from even a bit of back story. Even a 10 minute cut and paste intro that would set the tone of the movie as well as bring us up to speed on who our heroine is and what she's all about. I guess a point could be made that she's introduced as "just a model" and we're not supposed to care about her. But if that's the case then it just proves that the movie is nothing more than a series of disturbing situations that writers Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura couldn't string together into a cohesive plot.
See this movie if you enjoyed Saw 4 or Hostel 2. High gloss imagery with no substance but with a modicum of originality is all this movie has to offer. That and Elisha Cuthbert doing what she does best, looking good.
January 30, 2008
January 14, 2008
Warning! Standards may be lower than they appear: A review of Beneath
As soon as I saw that MTV logo pop up at the beginning of Beneath, I started sighing and fidgeting and hoping the movie would rush to the finale so I could hurry up and be disappointed. However I have yet to turn off a movie part way through, I'm a bit masochistic that way I guess. I started picking the movie apart; the acting is bad, the direction is incompetent, the script is boring, the runtime is laughable, but then I started actually paying attention.
The acting is.. well never mind. The best I can say is it's no worse than I expected. The direction I started enjoying once the mother started getting some screen time, director Dagen Merrill seems to do a lot better with the darker shots and the more intense scenes. This was especially apparent to me at the end of the movie, with the grand revelation and what I guess could be called a chase scene, though it's like no chase you would imagine. It was a welcome change from the usual feel of "ok it's over, let's just rush through and finish it off," barring the very last shot which I have a sneaking suspicion was added at MTV's request. The script surprised me to be perfectly honest, there were some genuinely unexpected twists which was refreshing. It's nice to go "oh god please don't let it be.. oh uh ok, they didn't" for once.
The plot revolves around Christy (Nora Zehetner) and visions she has of her sister Vanessa (Carly Pope) who died following a car crash that Christy survived. It's not made immediately clear if she is hallucinating or if she is seeing through the eyes of her sister, who she comes to believe was buried alive. This is where the script really shines as they take us through the reactions of people around Christy as well as her own doubts about her sanity. The story of what really happened between Vanessa, her nurse Claire (Eliza Norbury), John (Matthew Settle) and his mother (Gabrielle Rose) is very slowly and methodically revealed, which again was unexpected and showed that the short run time of 82 minutes was actually a positive sign. I even wanted to be annoyed with Christy's niece Amy (Jessica Amlee), you know, child actors and all that, but she served her place in the script so I can't really complain. The makeup effects on Vanessa were very solid and the flash-shot of something scary and dark accompanied by a high pitched sound, that oh so necessary element of horror movies, worked that much better because of it.
One of the few gripes I have about this movie would have to be the acting but again, it's no worse than is to be expected from low-grade horror. And while this turned out to be better than average low-grade horror, I was so drawn in the by the story I barely noticed the cheesy overacting displayed by our leads. The only other thing I can think of as being negative was the pace towards the beginning was a little slower than it needed to be. Story-wise it worked, laid out the background and what was to happen later on well, but character-wise I really had no empathy which was most likely a by-product of the quality of acting.
Beneath has all the trappings of a b-grade-but-somehow-got-greenlit horror movie, but it rises above the average thanks to a surprising amount originality in the script, written by Kevin Burke and director Dagen Merrill. If you've passed this movie over or turned it off part way through, you owe it to yourself to watch it all the way to the finish. In fact this movie was so out of the ordinairy in a good way that I just realized now there were no boobs in it.
The acting is.. well never mind. The best I can say is it's no worse than I expected. The direction I started enjoying once the mother started getting some screen time, director Dagen Merrill seems to do a lot better with the darker shots and the more intense scenes. This was especially apparent to me at the end of the movie, with the grand revelation and what I guess could be called a chase scene, though it's like no chase you would imagine. It was a welcome change from the usual feel of "ok it's over, let's just rush through and finish it off," barring the very last shot which I have a sneaking suspicion was added at MTV's request. The script surprised me to be perfectly honest, there were some genuinely unexpected twists which was refreshing. It's nice to go "oh god please don't let it be.. oh uh ok, they didn't" for once.
The plot revolves around Christy (Nora Zehetner) and visions she has of her sister Vanessa (Carly Pope) who died following a car crash that Christy survived. It's not made immediately clear if she is hallucinating or if she is seeing through the eyes of her sister, who she comes to believe was buried alive. This is where the script really shines as they take us through the reactions of people around Christy as well as her own doubts about her sanity. The story of what really happened between Vanessa, her nurse Claire (Eliza Norbury), John (Matthew Settle) and his mother (Gabrielle Rose) is very slowly and methodically revealed, which again was unexpected and showed that the short run time of 82 minutes was actually a positive sign. I even wanted to be annoyed with Christy's niece Amy (Jessica Amlee), you know, child actors and all that, but she served her place in the script so I can't really complain. The makeup effects on Vanessa were very solid and the flash-shot of something scary and dark accompanied by a high pitched sound, that oh so necessary element of horror movies, worked that much better because of it.
One of the few gripes I have about this movie would have to be the acting but again, it's no worse than is to be expected from low-grade horror. And while this turned out to be better than average low-grade horror, I was so drawn in the by the story I barely noticed the cheesy overacting displayed by our leads. The only other thing I can think of as being negative was the pace towards the beginning was a little slower than it needed to be. Story-wise it worked, laid out the background and what was to happen later on well, but character-wise I really had no empathy which was most likely a by-product of the quality of acting.
Beneath has all the trappings of a b-grade-but-somehow-got-greenlit horror movie, but it rises above the average thanks to a surprising amount originality in the script, written by Kevin Burke and director Dagen Merrill. If you've passed this movie over or turned it off part way through, you owe it to yourself to watch it all the way to the finish. In fact this movie was so out of the ordinairy in a good way that I just realized now there were no boobs in it.
January 5, 2008
Guest Review: The Baron reviews Bad Dreams
So after hearing about this movie and getting hyped up because Andrew Fleming, the director, also directed The Craft and wtf the recent Nancy Drew movie, I finally sat down and watched it. What I got was a big dose of meh coupled up with some good scenes thrown in there for good measure. It was just one big hit and miss, late 80’s horror shlockfest.
The movie starts out with the creepy cult leader, Harris (Richard Lynch), having a sit down with his Unity Field cult members and yapping on about some crap. Then they get down to the burn and all commit suicide by gasoline immolation. One girl survives, Cynthia (Jennifer Rubin), and goes into a coma for 13 years or something like that.
Upon waking up in 1988 she is put into a group for borderline personalities. At least they don’t play the “fish out of water” card and have a silly montage of her being exposed to the 80’s. Now when she gets into these group sessions the movie begins to draaaaaaaaaag on for waaaaaaaaaay too long. Lots of yap, not a lot of action. Eventually people in the group start getting offed one by one in a highly offscreen fashion. This is while Cynthia starts seeing a burned up Harris who claims that, since she is still alive, he and the rest of the cult members who burned are stuck in some sort of limbo. She believes that Harris has returned from the grave to force her to kill herself and until she does so, all the group members are up for the old slice and dice.
Eventually they throw the whole supernatural thing out the window and it ends up that all the hallucinations and other patients deaths were all drug induced by the evil head doctor or some shit. Basically this is where I got disappointed. I like supernatural evil. Evil doctors, not so much. Now evil supernatural doctors, that’s some serious shit.
Now don’t get me wrong I like 80’s horror shlockfest movies. I really really do, but this movie just couldn’t keep pace. The scenes when Harris and the rest of Unity Field are giving interviews to some reporters before the fire are good. Lynch really comes across as a psycho and the Unity Field members are just as nuts. Talking about how death is just another state of being and that killing someone is showing them that you love them, that stuff was money. I think I would have rather seen a movie about the crazy cult, ending with them all burning.
Another scene that really kicked the movie up a few points in my mind was when a couple of the group members sneak off to a remote part of the hospital to get up to some hanky panky. Now you don’t see it (it's one of those implied kills) but the scenes right before they get sucked into a giant turbine fan thing. The light was shining on their faces and they looked all nuts and shit. That was a good scene for me.
What I didn’t like about the movie was obviously the amount of time that the characters just sat in “group” and talked about stuff. I can't remember what they were talking about but I DO remember that I was very uninterested in what they had to say. Plus the ending was a huge let down. So it was an evil doctor all along? He was dosing the borderline personality group with different experimental drugs? Harris is just in Cynthia’s head and she’s on a bad drug trip? Too many questions for a horror movie.
Ugh, this movie is tiring me out but I have one last thing to say. It may have its flaws but fuck it, I’ll still buy it on dvd. I’ve bought worse, trust me.
The movie starts out with the creepy cult leader, Harris (Richard Lynch), having a sit down with his Unity Field cult members and yapping on about some crap. Then they get down to the burn and all commit suicide by gasoline immolation. One girl survives, Cynthia (Jennifer Rubin), and goes into a coma for 13 years or something like that.
Upon waking up in 1988 she is put into a group for borderline personalities. At least they don’t play the “fish out of water” card and have a silly montage of her being exposed to the 80’s. Now when she gets into these group sessions the movie begins to draaaaaaaaaag on for waaaaaaaaaay too long. Lots of yap, not a lot of action. Eventually people in the group start getting offed one by one in a highly offscreen fashion. This is while Cynthia starts seeing a burned up Harris who claims that, since she is still alive, he and the rest of the cult members who burned are stuck in some sort of limbo. She believes that Harris has returned from the grave to force her to kill herself and until she does so, all the group members are up for the old slice and dice.
Eventually they throw the whole supernatural thing out the window and it ends up that all the hallucinations and other patients deaths were all drug induced by the evil head doctor or some shit. Basically this is where I got disappointed. I like supernatural evil. Evil doctors, not so much. Now evil supernatural doctors, that’s some serious shit.
Now don’t get me wrong I like 80’s horror shlockfest movies. I really really do, but this movie just couldn’t keep pace. The scenes when Harris and the rest of Unity Field are giving interviews to some reporters before the fire are good. Lynch really comes across as a psycho and the Unity Field members are just as nuts. Talking about how death is just another state of being and that killing someone is showing them that you love them, that stuff was money. I think I would have rather seen a movie about the crazy cult, ending with them all burning.
Another scene that really kicked the movie up a few points in my mind was when a couple of the group members sneak off to a remote part of the hospital to get up to some hanky panky. Now you don’t see it (it's one of those implied kills) but the scenes right before they get sucked into a giant turbine fan thing. The light was shining on their faces and they looked all nuts and shit. That was a good scene for me.
What I didn’t like about the movie was obviously the amount of time that the characters just sat in “group” and talked about stuff. I can't remember what they were talking about but I DO remember that I was very uninterested in what they had to say. Plus the ending was a huge let down. So it was an evil doctor all along? He was dosing the borderline personality group with different experimental drugs? Harris is just in Cynthia’s head and she’s on a bad drug trip? Too many questions for a horror movie.
Ugh, this movie is tiring me out but I have one last thing to say. It may have its flaws but fuck it, I’ll still buy it on dvd. I’ve bought worse, trust me.
January 2, 2008
What's wrong with this movie: 7eventy 5ive
Some spoilers ahead, but don't bother watching this movie. If you're the type that enjoys self-abuse however, skip this post and go watch it now, then come back.
1) The title. Obnoxious. Seveneventy Fiveive is not a good name for a movie.
2) The cast. Two overly black black guys, an overly black fat white guy (yeah you read that right), no significant survivor girl, no sympathy for any of the characters. Oh and Rutger Hauer with a mismatched partner. This isn't a buddy-cop movie, he should've been solo.
3) The dialogue. A few lines made me laugh, I'll admit it, but overall just plain poor. I didn't believe any of the characters had met each other before the night on which the movie takes place. +5 pts to me for grammar.
4) The kills. Worst kills I've seen since I can remember. Stepping on a guys neck for a few seconds with no discernible pressure, then blood oozes out of his mouth? Punching a guy a few times? Come on. Two head choppings? I know there's only so much you can do with an axe but jeez.
5) The gore. Just bad. Did the two chopped-off-head guys not have spines? A slightly red line across the throat to signify a slashing? I almost missed that one actually, I couldn't figure out how they knew he was dead for a second. The blood spatter made no sense in any of the kills. It was gratuitous in one scene and completely lacking in the next.
6) The killers. I called the two-killer situation about halfway through the movie.. I couldn't even tell you why, just a feeling I had. Beyond that, making the main killer a random guy from an asylum we don't even find out about until the exposition scene? And then killing him immediately? Christ. It's like they read what people don't like to see in a killer and then used every scrap of info they could.
7) The ending. As above with regard to the killer and all the exposition taking place at the end. This is what's wrong with 90% of group of friends horror flicks, the killer's motivation isn't revealed until the end. Until then it's just a bunch of people that you don't care about being killed by someone you don't know for a reason that has yet to be revealed. The setting up overly black black guy #2 to be shot was different, which was nice, but I'm not sure an escaped mental patient (literally) would have the brains to think that up in the span of ten seconds. And the "surprise" ending of the asylum guy coming back.. both our killers are still alive guys! Let's hope for a sequel!
8) Boobs. One quick shot of a non-main character's fake boobies. Thumbs down.
9) The little things. So I guess that random caller that wanted their address was the pizza guy? Even though they already had pizza? Our secondary killer was at the damn party so he sure didn't call to find out where it was. The sleazy jerking off guy, just not necessary. Was it just me or did guy from the asylum fly at one point? I didn't even understand what was going on there, I watched the scene 4 times. The entire gas station sequence; the creepy-but-has-a-warning attendant, random kid, gross bathroom. All unnecessary. That random newscast at the gas station, I sincerely hope those were friends of the director. If not those actors should take up farming or something that doesn't require them to speak.
I was going to go for a marathon movie session and try to knock out 4 or 5 of the movies on the to-watch list, but after this, I couldn't continue. Magic Johnson you should be ashamed of yourself.
1) The title. Obnoxious. Seveneventy Fiveive is not a good name for a movie.
2) The cast. Two overly black black guys, an overly black fat white guy (yeah you read that right), no significant survivor girl, no sympathy for any of the characters. Oh and Rutger Hauer with a mismatched partner. This isn't a buddy-cop movie, he should've been solo.
3) The dialogue. A few lines made me laugh, I'll admit it, but overall just plain poor. I didn't believe any of the characters had met each other before the night on which the movie takes place. +5 pts to me for grammar.
4) The kills. Worst kills I've seen since I can remember. Stepping on a guys neck for a few seconds with no discernible pressure, then blood oozes out of his mouth? Punching a guy a few times? Come on. Two head choppings? I know there's only so much you can do with an axe but jeez.
5) The gore. Just bad. Did the two chopped-off-head guys not have spines? A slightly red line across the throat to signify a slashing? I almost missed that one actually, I couldn't figure out how they knew he was dead for a second. The blood spatter made no sense in any of the kills. It was gratuitous in one scene and completely lacking in the next.
6) The killers. I called the two-killer situation about halfway through the movie.. I couldn't even tell you why, just a feeling I had. Beyond that, making the main killer a random guy from an asylum we don't even find out about until the exposition scene? And then killing him immediately? Christ. It's like they read what people don't like to see in a killer and then used every scrap of info they could.
7) The ending. As above with regard to the killer and all the exposition taking place at the end. This is what's wrong with 90% of group of friends horror flicks, the killer's motivation isn't revealed until the end. Until then it's just a bunch of people that you don't care about being killed by someone you don't know for a reason that has yet to be revealed. The setting up overly black black guy #2 to be shot was different, which was nice, but I'm not sure an escaped mental patient (literally) would have the brains to think that up in the span of ten seconds. And the "surprise" ending of the asylum guy coming back.. both our killers are still alive guys! Let's hope for a sequel!
8) Boobs. One quick shot of a non-main character's fake boobies. Thumbs down.
9) The little things. So I guess that random caller that wanted their address was the pizza guy? Even though they already had pizza? Our secondary killer was at the damn party so he sure didn't call to find out where it was. The sleazy jerking off guy, just not necessary. Was it just me or did guy from the asylum fly at one point? I didn't even understand what was going on there, I watched the scene 4 times. The entire gas station sequence; the creepy-but-has-a-warning attendant, random kid, gross bathroom. All unnecessary. That random newscast at the gas station, I sincerely hope those were friends of the director. If not those actors should take up farming or something that doesn't require them to speak.
I was going to go for a marathon movie session and try to knock out 4 or 5 of the movies on the to-watch list, but after this, I couldn't continue. Magic Johnson you should be ashamed of yourself.
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