One line reviews are now posted to my Twitter, I will collect them occasionally and post them here in a more convenient format. They will be edited for readability. A lot of these films were watched on Netflix (Canada).
See No Evil: if you can get over the fact that it's a WWE film and give it a chance, you'll find a very slightly above average film. Nice cinematography, if you can ignore the MTV cuts. I wish they would've made better use of Kane's size. The mother character reminded me of Jason's mother.
Exam: not really a horror flick but sold as similar to Cube and Saw (it's not). Good direction, good acting, poor writing, horrible reveal.
I'd heard about the Happening but never seen it til last night. I'm seriously amazed, that was just awful. Music was good though.
Hatchet II: excessive gore even for me, uneven acting, waste of an excellent plot idea, unnecessary exposition scene(s). Kills were unique.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose was better than I remember. Better than most exorcism movies thanks to some solid character development.
You expect some quality issues when dealing with something called Megashark vs Crocosaurus but wow.
Dead End: The good: interesting script, nice slow burn with kills, offscreen violence, realistic reactions by characters. The bad: uneven acting, horribly nonsensical revelation/resolution, inappropriate music, boring direction, no boobs!
What Lies Beneath. The good: the two leads, the first half was full of some legit chills, capable direction. The bad: every thriller AND horror trope imaginable, too many misdirects, predictable second half, horrible ending.
I don't even know where to start with how bad Martyrs was. Good direction and makeup and that's about it. No message, no twist, no good guy winning. It was like the writer/director had some interesting ideas, wrote 2 movies then tried to cobble them together.
The Experiment (remake): another terrible American remake of a great foreign film. Dropped all plot and character development for violence. Good performances from most of the cast, but the script was just awful and the direction was boring at best, such a waste of good material.
Nightmares in Red White & Blue is a pretty good look at American horror, Romero gets too much attention as usual. Interesting parallel between the 00's remake frenzy and the reliving of certain social and cultural events of the time of the originals.
Red Dragon was about as good as I expected. Fantastic performances by Ralph Fiennes and Emily Watson, would like to see them paired again. Too much Hannibal imo. I want to go back and watch Manhunter now and see how it compares. Haven't seen it since just after Silence came out.
August 13, 2011
August 2, 2008
For the love of Lovecraft
I want to open by saying I love the work of H.P. Lovecraft, I'm a huge fan. I'm also obviously a big fan of horror movies and more specifically the tense, story-telling type tales. So you'd think it would be a natural fit that I would like movies based on or "inspired by" Lovecraft works. BZZT! Wrong. There has been a grand total of one (1) film made based on Lovecraft fiction that I have enjoyed, and it is Dagon. I've heard good things about Re-Animator but alas I have yet to see it. Both movies are directed by Stuart Gordon, so the man obviously knows how to handle his Lovecraft. Anyway, on with the show.
We open with a dream sequence which isn't immediately effective, but on second or third viewings it becomes more apparent. The following scene on the boat with lead player Paul (Ezra Godden) and his girl Barbara (Raquel Meroño) (maybe a reference to Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator and From Beyond?) along with Howard (Brendan Price) and his wife Vicky (Birgit Bofarull) serve to remind us that Dagon is in fact a low-budget feature. Everything after this, aside from Paul's unnecessary over acting in the first part of the movie, shows us what a good filmmaker can do with a little creativity and a lot of heart. The foursome is taking a trip to celebrate Paul's newfound wealth when they crash into a rock and Vicky gets her leg stuck in the boat.. somehow. It's implied that her blood awakens something, and Howard refuses to leave his wife so Paul and Barbara head to shore in a dingy which shortly springs a leak. They make it to land safe and sound after a bit more unnecessary comedy and a few oddly compelling tension shots both on the dingy and in the big boat with Howard and Vicky.
Upon reaching shore, Barbara instinctively knows the townspeople must speak spanish.. ? They do! Well that's lucky. A priestly looking individual tells the couple that he will take Barbara to the next town over to bring the police to help. Paul decides to stay in the hotel (yes the hotel, as in singular), where he finds a nice older gentleman who either doesn't or can't speak and has gills in his neck. Paul does what any of us would do, he takes a room for the night. Upstairs in his room he sees Barbara, which turns out to be the woman from his dream (Uxía, played by Macarena Gómez) and Paul is just hallucinating. After being chased out of his room by a creepy stumbly mumbly horde he finds himself falling into a chamber filled with flayed skin and faces that have been hung out to dry and we meet Ezequial (Francisco Rabal) aka our expository dialogue vendor. He gives a firsthand account of the town of Imbocca and how it came to be populated by fish zombies. Then comes the dreaded capture and escape x4 that if you're really lost in the movie won't bother you too much, but if you're only paying a bit of attention, or if you're not drawn in by this point, you will lose all hope of enjoying the movie right about now. The plot is moved along throughout these captures and escapes and we learn more about Uxía and what Dagon has in mind for the offerings his followers have captured for him. After the final escape of Paul, we're treated to what I thought was an incredibly strong finish, mainly because of Macarena Gómez's extremely real and serious treatment of the subject matter. The crowd of Imboccanos wearing skin faces and the perfectly grotesque final shot of Barbara were big pluses as well.
It's hard to illustrate exactly how they created the feel of this movie, of isolation and of a strong backstory and mythos which are all central feelings in Lovecrafts own work. I wanted to (try to) hilight a very good job done by Gordon in bringing those feelings to life on the screen, a task which many have tried and failed miserably. Dagon's strength lies in the fact that Gordon understands how to translate the source material to the screen and that the actors don't play their roles like they're in a B movie, which they most certainly are, but they play them completely straight. Add in some heavy duty makeup effects and minimal use of CG and you have a recipe for a strained budget that exceeds expectations and really has won a place among my favorite movies.
Gripes are non-existant if you are pulled into the movie as I mentioned. Small things from the dream sequence pop up throughout the movie, the fish language was really interesting in that it sounded very coherent and cohesive, it sounded like they were all speaking the same, if fake, language. The makeup effects deserve another mention as they really were top notch and I actually looked away the last time I watched as they skinned one of the cast members face and back. The location serves the atmosphere perfectly and it is shot expertly. The camerawork reminded me of Evil Dead a few times, and that's a good thing. If however you are looking for something to disike or if it just doesn't grab you, you will find a lot of very silly acting by Ezra Godden for the first 30 minutes or so and some absolutely ridiculous decisions being made; staying in the hotel in the first place, ignoring the fish zombie crowd heading up to him, then trying to keep them out with the smallest deadbolt I've ever seen stands out as particularly ill-advised. There are also little things like Paul's total dependance on his glasses when they're just out of reach or broken, but not having any effect on him later in the movie once he's put on his tough guy persona that can bring it down. But really, a good movie deserves your suspension of disbelief and this one earns it.
We open with a dream sequence which isn't immediately effective, but on second or third viewings it becomes more apparent. The following scene on the boat with lead player Paul (Ezra Godden) and his girl Barbara (Raquel Meroño) (maybe a reference to Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator and From Beyond?) along with Howard (Brendan Price) and his wife Vicky (Birgit Bofarull) serve to remind us that Dagon is in fact a low-budget feature. Everything after this, aside from Paul's unnecessary over acting in the first part of the movie, shows us what a good filmmaker can do with a little creativity and a lot of heart. The foursome is taking a trip to celebrate Paul's newfound wealth when they crash into a rock and Vicky gets her leg stuck in the boat.. somehow. It's implied that her blood awakens something, and Howard refuses to leave his wife so Paul and Barbara head to shore in a dingy which shortly springs a leak. They make it to land safe and sound after a bit more unnecessary comedy and a few oddly compelling tension shots both on the dingy and in the big boat with Howard and Vicky.
Upon reaching shore, Barbara instinctively knows the townspeople must speak spanish.. ? They do! Well that's lucky. A priestly looking individual tells the couple that he will take Barbara to the next town over to bring the police to help. Paul decides to stay in the hotel (yes the hotel, as in singular), where he finds a nice older gentleman who either doesn't or can't speak and has gills in his neck. Paul does what any of us would do, he takes a room for the night. Upstairs in his room he sees Barbara, which turns out to be the woman from his dream (Uxía, played by Macarena Gómez) and Paul is just hallucinating. After being chased out of his room by a creepy stumbly mumbly horde he finds himself falling into a chamber filled with flayed skin and faces that have been hung out to dry and we meet Ezequial (Francisco Rabal) aka our expository dialogue vendor. He gives a firsthand account of the town of Imbocca and how it came to be populated by fish zombies. Then comes the dreaded capture and escape x4 that if you're really lost in the movie won't bother you too much, but if you're only paying a bit of attention, or if you're not drawn in by this point, you will lose all hope of enjoying the movie right about now. The plot is moved along throughout these captures and escapes and we learn more about Uxía and what Dagon has in mind for the offerings his followers have captured for him. After the final escape of Paul, we're treated to what I thought was an incredibly strong finish, mainly because of Macarena Gómez's extremely real and serious treatment of the subject matter. The crowd of Imboccanos wearing skin faces and the perfectly grotesque final shot of Barbara were big pluses as well.
It's hard to illustrate exactly how they created the feel of this movie, of isolation and of a strong backstory and mythos which are all central feelings in Lovecrafts own work. I wanted to (try to) hilight a very good job done by Gordon in bringing those feelings to life on the screen, a task which many have tried and failed miserably. Dagon's strength lies in the fact that Gordon understands how to translate the source material to the screen and that the actors don't play their roles like they're in a B movie, which they most certainly are, but they play them completely straight. Add in some heavy duty makeup effects and minimal use of CG and you have a recipe for a strained budget that exceeds expectations and really has won a place among my favorite movies.
Gripes are non-existant if you are pulled into the movie as I mentioned. Small things from the dream sequence pop up throughout the movie, the fish language was really interesting in that it sounded very coherent and cohesive, it sounded like they were all speaking the same, if fake, language. The makeup effects deserve another mention as they really were top notch and I actually looked away the last time I watched as they skinned one of the cast members face and back. The location serves the atmosphere perfectly and it is shot expertly. The camerawork reminded me of Evil Dead a few times, and that's a good thing. If however you are looking for something to disike or if it just doesn't grab you, you will find a lot of very silly acting by Ezra Godden for the first 30 minutes or so and some absolutely ridiculous decisions being made; staying in the hotel in the first place, ignoring the fish zombie crowd heading up to him, then trying to keep them out with the smallest deadbolt I've ever seen stands out as particularly ill-advised. There are also little things like Paul's total dependance on his glasses when they're just out of reach or broken, but not having any effect on him later in the movie once he's put on his tough guy persona that can bring it down. But really, a good movie deserves your suspension of disbelief and this one earns it.
July 7, 2008
One line reviews 3
Left in Darkness - Starring Monica Keena of Freddy vs Jason. Really nice direction and cinematography, script I thought was going to be decent but it really takes a turn for the worse once all the "rules" of being dead start being explained. Twist was slightly unexpected, but once it was revealed the acting started going downhill.
Dead Silence - Better the second time around. If you hated it when you watched it, try watching it again.
From Beyond - Pretty fun little film. Lots of low budget makeup/creature effects, some really unexpected sequences, a black guy in tighty whiteys (that happen to be red) rolling down some stairs, and Barbara Crampton's boobs. Director Stuart Gordon really love his Lovecraft, and I intend to see Re-Animator asap. Possible triple feature: From Beyond, Re-Animator & Dagon? I think so.
Cloverfield - Finally watched it, and it was actually pretty good. There was a lot more characterization than I expected, the roles were all played very realistically and the monster was pretty damn cool. I would have liked to see this as just a normal movie but I can't take anything away from the filmmakers, they did a very good job.
Borderland - This movie has earned itself a place on the necessary viewing list. By turns incredibly subtle then jarringly visceral; everything comes together very nicely in an extremely tight package. The pacing is quite possibly the most methodical and well laid out I've ever seen. Everything seemed to be teetering on the edge of "too much" but played the line so well that I couldn't help but be completely mesmerized. Every time I thought of something to nitpick, and believe me I was looking, they wrapped it up and moved along so expertly that any trace of hesitation in giving this a glowing review disappeared.
I Am Legend - Ugh. That's all.
P2 - They really did a lot more with this than I thought they would be able to given the incredibly limiting setup. On thinking about the gore I felt it was unnecessary, but it didn't detract from the overall feel while I was watching the movie. Wes Bentley plays crazy so so well, I wish he would get a little more exposure and parts in better movies. I can see him having a career playing the officeworker by day/stalker by night role.
Sweeney Todd - I wish I'd seen the stage musical. That's really all I have to say, which is unfortunate since I like Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Sasha Baron Cohen.. you know, everything ABOUT the movie was good. On the flipside I can at least say it seemed like a labor of love moreso than the usual "hey if we make this into a movie we can make some money."
Drive Thru - If you haven't seen this movie, go out and buy it, download it, borrow it, rent it. See it somehow. It's fast paced, great original kills, different "offbeat" killer that actually works, the humor doesn't bring it down because it's not tied directly to the plot or dialogue that's important to the plot. And the classic revenge plot is always a favorite.
Grizzly Park - Just stick it out to the end, there are a number of very reasonable payoffs. I was ready to write a very short very bad review but the last 20 mins or so really pulled this movie up into the mediocre area.
Dead Silence - Better the second time around. If you hated it when you watched it, try watching it again.
From Beyond - Pretty fun little film. Lots of low budget makeup/creature effects, some really unexpected sequences, a black guy in tighty whiteys (that happen to be red) rolling down some stairs, and Barbara Crampton's boobs. Director Stuart Gordon really love his Lovecraft, and I intend to see Re-Animator asap. Possible triple feature: From Beyond, Re-Animator & Dagon? I think so.
Cloverfield - Finally watched it, and it was actually pretty good. There was a lot more characterization than I expected, the roles were all played very realistically and the monster was pretty damn cool. I would have liked to see this as just a normal movie but I can't take anything away from the filmmakers, they did a very good job.
Borderland - This movie has earned itself a place on the necessary viewing list. By turns incredibly subtle then jarringly visceral; everything comes together very nicely in an extremely tight package. The pacing is quite possibly the most methodical and well laid out I've ever seen. Everything seemed to be teetering on the edge of "too much" but played the line so well that I couldn't help but be completely mesmerized. Every time I thought of something to nitpick, and believe me I was looking, they wrapped it up and moved along so expertly that any trace of hesitation in giving this a glowing review disappeared.
I Am Legend - Ugh. That's all.
P2 - They really did a lot more with this than I thought they would be able to given the incredibly limiting setup. On thinking about the gore I felt it was unnecessary, but it didn't detract from the overall feel while I was watching the movie. Wes Bentley plays crazy so so well, I wish he would get a little more exposure and parts in better movies. I can see him having a career playing the officeworker by day/stalker by night role.
Sweeney Todd - I wish I'd seen the stage musical. That's really all I have to say, which is unfortunate since I like Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Sasha Baron Cohen.. you know, everything ABOUT the movie was good. On the flipside I can at least say it seemed like a labor of love moreso than the usual "hey if we make this into a movie we can make some money."
Drive Thru - If you haven't seen this movie, go out and buy it, download it, borrow it, rent it. See it somehow. It's fast paced, great original kills, different "offbeat" killer that actually works, the humor doesn't bring it down because it's not tied directly to the plot or dialogue that's important to the plot. And the classic revenge plot is always a favorite.
Grizzly Park - Just stick it out to the end, there are a number of very reasonable payoffs. I was ready to write a very short very bad review but the last 20 mins or so really pulled this movie up into the mediocre area.
February 17, 2008
One line reviews 2
Primeval - I like this movie for some reason, and I'm not one for creature features. Could be that I like Orlando Jones and there was a lot more going on than just the creature. I *HATE* how they marketed it though, made it seem like some badass serial killer movie. Worth a rent if you haven't seen it.
Child's Play 1 2 & 3 - First one, a little slow but original. The kid was very good and I used to watch Empty Nest so I got a soft spot for Dinah Manoff. The second is a very very quality sequel, especially considering it's an 80's horror sequel, but the third movie really shines. They unfortunately lose the kid but teenage Andy plays very well and the supporting cast is extraordinarily strong. Chucky is more sarcastic, has more character, and the setup with the paintball exercise is one of my absolute favorites among all horror movies. The creepy uncle from Hellraiser as the barber is nice too.
In the Mouth of Madness - First time watching it (I know I know) and I was looking forward to putting up a solid review. Sam Neill? Great actor, always believable. John Carpenter? How can you go wrong (rhetorical question). But now that I've seen it I'm left thinking it was not much more than an exercise in imagery. Maybe it's just because of all the films that have done "film within a film" or "reality within itself" type plots since then, but it really didn't amaze me as much as I was expecting it to.
1408 - Well the first thing I have to say is Samuel L. Jackson does not swear enough. Nice to see John Cusack take his acting style if not to a new level then at least to a new genre. Also nice not to see a cameo by Joan. Nice visuals, average story. At the end I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of having finished something, but not in a positive way. Just like I'd done something that had to be done, and that's that. I don't intend to watch the movie again, but I wouldn't say it was bad.
Tanya's Island - Not horror at all, but it so bizarre I had to mention it. Woman who gets naked a lot goes to island with man, oddly friendly gorilla gets crush on woman, man gets jealous, man becomes primal, weird almost gladitorial scenes take place between gorilla and primal man. Social commentary I guess, but very very weird stuff. Reasonable effort overall as far as production goes.
Hatchet - Twice. Once cuz I was convincing people that it's amazing and should be seen by everyone, and I was so good I convinced myself to watch it, then again when the new banner was made cuz hey, everyone needs a little belt sander to the face in their day.
I Know Who Killed Me - I'm a fan of Lindsay Lohan, sue me. And Lindsay Lohan as a one-legged stripper intrigued me. Personally I enjoyed it. Yes the colors were ridiculously overdone and yeah the graphic gore was unnecessary but it was a fun little thriller which left itself open to interpretation, which I like. Also I'm a sucker for low expectations and lots of twists (see: Beneath).
Last House on the Left - Yes I haven't seen it til now, and frankly I was disappointed. The music literally made me laugh. Good concept, a few good scenes (then again I am partial to chainsaws). But overall I just was not impressed. The "feel good" scenes were extremely dated and the juxtaposition just didn't work. The gang wasn't menacing. Maybe i just should've seen it 30 years ago.
Zombie Honeymoon - Treated much too seriously. Worked well as a drama, well done for what appeared to be a low budget, but didn't work as a horror film at all.
Child's Play 1 2 & 3 - First one, a little slow but original. The kid was very good and I used to watch Empty Nest so I got a soft spot for Dinah Manoff. The second is a very very quality sequel, especially considering it's an 80's horror sequel, but the third movie really shines. They unfortunately lose the kid but teenage Andy plays very well and the supporting cast is extraordinarily strong. Chucky is more sarcastic, has more character, and the setup with the paintball exercise is one of my absolute favorites among all horror movies. The creepy uncle from Hellraiser as the barber is nice too.
In the Mouth of Madness - First time watching it (I know I know) and I was looking forward to putting up a solid review. Sam Neill? Great actor, always believable. John Carpenter? How can you go wrong (rhetorical question). But now that I've seen it I'm left thinking it was not much more than an exercise in imagery. Maybe it's just because of all the films that have done "film within a film" or "reality within itself" type plots since then, but it really didn't amaze me as much as I was expecting it to.
1408 - Well the first thing I have to say is Samuel L. Jackson does not swear enough. Nice to see John Cusack take his acting style if not to a new level then at least to a new genre. Also nice not to see a cameo by Joan. Nice visuals, average story. At the end I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of having finished something, but not in a positive way. Just like I'd done something that had to be done, and that's that. I don't intend to watch the movie again, but I wouldn't say it was bad.
Tanya's Island - Not horror at all, but it so bizarre I had to mention it. Woman who gets naked a lot goes to island with man, oddly friendly gorilla gets crush on woman, man gets jealous, man becomes primal, weird almost gladitorial scenes take place between gorilla and primal man. Social commentary I guess, but very very weird stuff. Reasonable effort overall as far as production goes.
Hatchet - Twice. Once cuz I was convincing people that it's amazing and should be seen by everyone, and I was so good I convinced myself to watch it, then again when the new banner was made cuz hey, everyone needs a little belt sander to the face in their day.
I Know Who Killed Me - I'm a fan of Lindsay Lohan, sue me. And Lindsay Lohan as a one-legged stripper intrigued me. Personally I enjoyed it. Yes the colors were ridiculously overdone and yeah the graphic gore was unnecessary but it was a fun little thriller which left itself open to interpretation, which I like. Also I'm a sucker for low expectations and lots of twists (see: Beneath).
Last House on the Left - Yes I haven't seen it til now, and frankly I was disappointed. The music literally made me laugh. Good concept, a few good scenes (then again I am partial to chainsaws). But overall I just was not impressed. The "feel good" scenes were extremely dated and the juxtaposition just didn't work. The gang wasn't menacing. Maybe i just should've seen it 30 years ago.
Zombie Honeymoon - Treated much too seriously. Worked well as a drama, well done for what appeared to be a low budget, but didn't work as a horror film at all.
January 30, 2008
Craft time with Ben and Gary: A review of Captivity
Well I will admit, my decision to see this movie mainly revolved around the fact that Elisha Cuthbert is hot. I've heard the hype about the billboard scandal, honestly I was more interested in the fact that the director (Roland Joffe) also did the Super Mario Bros movie. Most of the reviews I've read gave Captivity a negative review and after seeing the first few scenes I was hoping to have something more positive to say as it does start out promisingly enough. Once Miss Sexyface gets kidnapped though, things just start getting worse and don't stop til it's over.
We're given no character development, aside from the interaction between the two captives, and even then nothing that evokes empathy. We're shown snippets of interviews that ostensibly have been taped by the captors and that I guess are played randomly throughout the day on a multitude of different montors/tv's set up around the house. I spent more time thinking about what it would take to rig that all up than about the unfolding plot, so I guess it's entirely possible I missed some all-revealing detail. It seems that we are supposed to identify with the killer and his desire to own something that everyone else wants rather than the captive Jennifer Tree (Cuthbert). Add in the home videos of Gary and Ben when they're younger (taped by the father? third unseen brother? who knows) and it really does seem like we're supposed to feel more pity for the bad guys than the victim.
I think if I had to pick one scene that typified Captivity it would have to be when the Jennifer and Gary (Daniel Gillies) make sweet beautiful love. It was probably the most contrived example among a number of situations and scenes that felt like the director was thinking "hey.. wanna see what ELSE I thought up? Check this out." It served no purpose other than I guess to make it that much more shocking when Gary turns out to be one of the captors. Oh did I ruin it? No I didn't, you can see it coming a mile away. The film also stars Pruitt Taylor Vince as Captor #1 who I haven't seen in quite a while and who I really like for some reason. Unforunately with the look that he has I can't really see him playing in much more significant parts than he is given here.
As far as the gore/torture/mind games they were definately stronger than expected, but ultimately brought me back to thinking "I don't know anything about this woman, why do I care?" The majority of the squirm scenes are psychological in nature, and for those types of scares to work you need to be invested in the person they're being wrought upon.
Rounding out the ineffective items in this movie are two throwaway cops who decide everything is fine and so they stay at the house to watch a basketball game. No seriously. I guess they figure they've investigated their one case for the day so time to kick back at a suspects house watching tv. The twist at the end was definitely not expected, I'll give them that, but again it was simply ineffective. The model-turned-vigilante thing may have worked if there was any character development, something for us to cheer about and be happy that poor Jennifer got free and now she's taking revenge, but there wasn't. It felt like another case of Joffe thinking "hey wouldn't it be neat if.." without putting any substance behind it. If you haven't noticed, I really felt this movie would have benefitted from even a bit of back story. Even a 10 minute cut and paste intro that would set the tone of the movie as well as bring us up to speed on who our heroine is and what she's all about. I guess a point could be made that she's introduced as "just a model" and we're not supposed to care about her. But if that's the case then it just proves that the movie is nothing more than a series of disturbing situations that writers Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura couldn't string together into a cohesive plot.
See this movie if you enjoyed Saw 4 or Hostel 2. High gloss imagery with no substance but with a modicum of originality is all this movie has to offer. That and Elisha Cuthbert doing what she does best, looking good.
We're given no character development, aside from the interaction between the two captives, and even then nothing that evokes empathy. We're shown snippets of interviews that ostensibly have been taped by the captors and that I guess are played randomly throughout the day on a multitude of different montors/tv's set up around the house. I spent more time thinking about what it would take to rig that all up than about the unfolding plot, so I guess it's entirely possible I missed some all-revealing detail. It seems that we are supposed to identify with the killer and his desire to own something that everyone else wants rather than the captive Jennifer Tree (Cuthbert). Add in the home videos of Gary and Ben when they're younger (taped by the father? third unseen brother? who knows) and it really does seem like we're supposed to feel more pity for the bad guys than the victim.
I think if I had to pick one scene that typified Captivity it would have to be when the Jennifer and Gary (Daniel Gillies) make sweet beautiful love. It was probably the most contrived example among a number of situations and scenes that felt like the director was thinking "hey.. wanna see what ELSE I thought up? Check this out." It served no purpose other than I guess to make it that much more shocking when Gary turns out to be one of the captors. Oh did I ruin it? No I didn't, you can see it coming a mile away. The film also stars Pruitt Taylor Vince as Captor #1 who I haven't seen in quite a while and who I really like for some reason. Unforunately with the look that he has I can't really see him playing in much more significant parts than he is given here.
As far as the gore/torture/mind games they were definately stronger than expected, but ultimately brought me back to thinking "I don't know anything about this woman, why do I care?" The majority of the squirm scenes are psychological in nature, and for those types of scares to work you need to be invested in the person they're being wrought upon.
Rounding out the ineffective items in this movie are two throwaway cops who decide everything is fine and so they stay at the house to watch a basketball game. No seriously. I guess they figure they've investigated their one case for the day so time to kick back at a suspects house watching tv. The twist at the end was definitely not expected, I'll give them that, but again it was simply ineffective. The model-turned-vigilante thing may have worked if there was any character development, something for us to cheer about and be happy that poor Jennifer got free and now she's taking revenge, but there wasn't. It felt like another case of Joffe thinking "hey wouldn't it be neat if.." without putting any substance behind it. If you haven't noticed, I really felt this movie would have benefitted from even a bit of back story. Even a 10 minute cut and paste intro that would set the tone of the movie as well as bring us up to speed on who our heroine is and what she's all about. I guess a point could be made that she's introduced as "just a model" and we're not supposed to care about her. But if that's the case then it just proves that the movie is nothing more than a series of disturbing situations that writers Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura couldn't string together into a cohesive plot.
See this movie if you enjoyed Saw 4 or Hostel 2. High gloss imagery with no substance but with a modicum of originality is all this movie has to offer. That and Elisha Cuthbert doing what she does best, looking good.
January 14, 2008
Warning! Standards may be lower than they appear: A review of Beneath
As soon as I saw that MTV logo pop up at the beginning of Beneath, I started sighing and fidgeting and hoping the movie would rush to the finale so I could hurry up and be disappointed. However I have yet to turn off a movie part way through, I'm a bit masochistic that way I guess. I started picking the movie apart; the acting is bad, the direction is incompetent, the script is boring, the runtime is laughable, but then I started actually paying attention.
The acting is.. well never mind. The best I can say is it's no worse than I expected. The direction I started enjoying once the mother started getting some screen time, director Dagen Merrill seems to do a lot better with the darker shots and the more intense scenes. This was especially apparent to me at the end of the movie, with the grand revelation and what I guess could be called a chase scene, though it's like no chase you would imagine. It was a welcome change from the usual feel of "ok it's over, let's just rush through and finish it off," barring the very last shot which I have a sneaking suspicion was added at MTV's request. The script surprised me to be perfectly honest, there were some genuinely unexpected twists which was refreshing. It's nice to go "oh god please don't let it be.. oh uh ok, they didn't" for once.
The plot revolves around Christy (Nora Zehetner) and visions she has of her sister Vanessa (Carly Pope) who died following a car crash that Christy survived. It's not made immediately clear if she is hallucinating or if she is seeing through the eyes of her sister, who she comes to believe was buried alive. This is where the script really shines as they take us through the reactions of people around Christy as well as her own doubts about her sanity. The story of what really happened between Vanessa, her nurse Claire (Eliza Norbury), John (Matthew Settle) and his mother (Gabrielle Rose) is very slowly and methodically revealed, which again was unexpected and showed that the short run time of 82 minutes was actually a positive sign. I even wanted to be annoyed with Christy's niece Amy (Jessica Amlee), you know, child actors and all that, but she served her place in the script so I can't really complain. The makeup effects on Vanessa were very solid and the flash-shot of something scary and dark accompanied by a high pitched sound, that oh so necessary element of horror movies, worked that much better because of it.
One of the few gripes I have about this movie would have to be the acting but again, it's no worse than is to be expected from low-grade horror. And while this turned out to be better than average low-grade horror, I was so drawn in the by the story I barely noticed the cheesy overacting displayed by our leads. The only other thing I can think of as being negative was the pace towards the beginning was a little slower than it needed to be. Story-wise it worked, laid out the background and what was to happen later on well, but character-wise I really had no empathy which was most likely a by-product of the quality of acting.
Beneath has all the trappings of a b-grade-but-somehow-got-greenlit horror movie, but it rises above the average thanks to a surprising amount originality in the script, written by Kevin Burke and director Dagen Merrill. If you've passed this movie over or turned it off part way through, you owe it to yourself to watch it all the way to the finish. In fact this movie was so out of the ordinairy in a good way that I just realized now there were no boobs in it.
The acting is.. well never mind. The best I can say is it's no worse than I expected. The direction I started enjoying once the mother started getting some screen time, director Dagen Merrill seems to do a lot better with the darker shots and the more intense scenes. This was especially apparent to me at the end of the movie, with the grand revelation and what I guess could be called a chase scene, though it's like no chase you would imagine. It was a welcome change from the usual feel of "ok it's over, let's just rush through and finish it off," barring the very last shot which I have a sneaking suspicion was added at MTV's request. The script surprised me to be perfectly honest, there were some genuinely unexpected twists which was refreshing. It's nice to go "oh god please don't let it be.. oh uh ok, they didn't" for once.
The plot revolves around Christy (Nora Zehetner) and visions she has of her sister Vanessa (Carly Pope) who died following a car crash that Christy survived. It's not made immediately clear if she is hallucinating or if she is seeing through the eyes of her sister, who she comes to believe was buried alive. This is where the script really shines as they take us through the reactions of people around Christy as well as her own doubts about her sanity. The story of what really happened between Vanessa, her nurse Claire (Eliza Norbury), John (Matthew Settle) and his mother (Gabrielle Rose) is very slowly and methodically revealed, which again was unexpected and showed that the short run time of 82 minutes was actually a positive sign. I even wanted to be annoyed with Christy's niece Amy (Jessica Amlee), you know, child actors and all that, but she served her place in the script so I can't really complain. The makeup effects on Vanessa were very solid and the flash-shot of something scary and dark accompanied by a high pitched sound, that oh so necessary element of horror movies, worked that much better because of it.
One of the few gripes I have about this movie would have to be the acting but again, it's no worse than is to be expected from low-grade horror. And while this turned out to be better than average low-grade horror, I was so drawn in the by the story I barely noticed the cheesy overacting displayed by our leads. The only other thing I can think of as being negative was the pace towards the beginning was a little slower than it needed to be. Story-wise it worked, laid out the background and what was to happen later on well, but character-wise I really had no empathy which was most likely a by-product of the quality of acting.
Beneath has all the trappings of a b-grade-but-somehow-got-greenlit horror movie, but it rises above the average thanks to a surprising amount originality in the script, written by Kevin Burke and director Dagen Merrill. If you've passed this movie over or turned it off part way through, you owe it to yourself to watch it all the way to the finish. In fact this movie was so out of the ordinairy in a good way that I just realized now there were no boobs in it.
January 5, 2008
Guest Review: The Baron reviews Bad Dreams
So after hearing about this movie and getting hyped up because Andrew Fleming, the director, also directed The Craft and wtf the recent Nancy Drew movie, I finally sat down and watched it. What I got was a big dose of meh coupled up with some good scenes thrown in there for good measure. It was just one big hit and miss, late 80’s horror shlockfest.
The movie starts out with the creepy cult leader, Harris (Richard Lynch), having a sit down with his Unity Field cult members and yapping on about some crap. Then they get down to the burn and all commit suicide by gasoline immolation. One girl survives, Cynthia (Jennifer Rubin), and goes into a coma for 13 years or something like that.
Upon waking up in 1988 she is put into a group for borderline personalities. At least they don’t play the “fish out of water” card and have a silly montage of her being exposed to the 80’s. Now when she gets into these group sessions the movie begins to draaaaaaaaaag on for waaaaaaaaaay too long. Lots of yap, not a lot of action. Eventually people in the group start getting offed one by one in a highly offscreen fashion. This is while Cynthia starts seeing a burned up Harris who claims that, since she is still alive, he and the rest of the cult members who burned are stuck in some sort of limbo. She believes that Harris has returned from the grave to force her to kill herself and until she does so, all the group members are up for the old slice and dice.
Eventually they throw the whole supernatural thing out the window and it ends up that all the hallucinations and other patients deaths were all drug induced by the evil head doctor or some shit. Basically this is where I got disappointed. I like supernatural evil. Evil doctors, not so much. Now evil supernatural doctors, that’s some serious shit.
Now don’t get me wrong I like 80’s horror shlockfest movies. I really really do, but this movie just couldn’t keep pace. The scenes when Harris and the rest of Unity Field are giving interviews to some reporters before the fire are good. Lynch really comes across as a psycho and the Unity Field members are just as nuts. Talking about how death is just another state of being and that killing someone is showing them that you love them, that stuff was money. I think I would have rather seen a movie about the crazy cult, ending with them all burning.
Another scene that really kicked the movie up a few points in my mind was when a couple of the group members sneak off to a remote part of the hospital to get up to some hanky panky. Now you don’t see it (it's one of those implied kills) but the scenes right before they get sucked into a giant turbine fan thing. The light was shining on their faces and they looked all nuts and shit. That was a good scene for me.
What I didn’t like about the movie was obviously the amount of time that the characters just sat in “group” and talked about stuff. I can't remember what they were talking about but I DO remember that I was very uninterested in what they had to say. Plus the ending was a huge let down. So it was an evil doctor all along? He was dosing the borderline personality group with different experimental drugs? Harris is just in Cynthia’s head and she’s on a bad drug trip? Too many questions for a horror movie.
Ugh, this movie is tiring me out but I have one last thing to say. It may have its flaws but fuck it, I’ll still buy it on dvd. I’ve bought worse, trust me.
The movie starts out with the creepy cult leader, Harris (Richard Lynch), having a sit down with his Unity Field cult members and yapping on about some crap. Then they get down to the burn and all commit suicide by gasoline immolation. One girl survives, Cynthia (Jennifer Rubin), and goes into a coma for 13 years or something like that.
Upon waking up in 1988 she is put into a group for borderline personalities. At least they don’t play the “fish out of water” card and have a silly montage of her being exposed to the 80’s. Now when she gets into these group sessions the movie begins to draaaaaaaaaag on for waaaaaaaaaay too long. Lots of yap, not a lot of action. Eventually people in the group start getting offed one by one in a highly offscreen fashion. This is while Cynthia starts seeing a burned up Harris who claims that, since she is still alive, he and the rest of the cult members who burned are stuck in some sort of limbo. She believes that Harris has returned from the grave to force her to kill herself and until she does so, all the group members are up for the old slice and dice.
Eventually they throw the whole supernatural thing out the window and it ends up that all the hallucinations and other patients deaths were all drug induced by the evil head doctor or some shit. Basically this is where I got disappointed. I like supernatural evil. Evil doctors, not so much. Now evil supernatural doctors, that’s some serious shit.
Now don’t get me wrong I like 80’s horror shlockfest movies. I really really do, but this movie just couldn’t keep pace. The scenes when Harris and the rest of Unity Field are giving interviews to some reporters before the fire are good. Lynch really comes across as a psycho and the Unity Field members are just as nuts. Talking about how death is just another state of being and that killing someone is showing them that you love them, that stuff was money. I think I would have rather seen a movie about the crazy cult, ending with them all burning.
Another scene that really kicked the movie up a few points in my mind was when a couple of the group members sneak off to a remote part of the hospital to get up to some hanky panky. Now you don’t see it (it's one of those implied kills) but the scenes right before they get sucked into a giant turbine fan thing. The light was shining on their faces and they looked all nuts and shit. That was a good scene for me.
What I didn’t like about the movie was obviously the amount of time that the characters just sat in “group” and talked about stuff. I can't remember what they were talking about but I DO remember that I was very uninterested in what they had to say. Plus the ending was a huge let down. So it was an evil doctor all along? He was dosing the borderline personality group with different experimental drugs? Harris is just in Cynthia’s head and she’s on a bad drug trip? Too many questions for a horror movie.
Ugh, this movie is tiring me out but I have one last thing to say. It may have its flaws but fuck it, I’ll still buy it on dvd. I’ve bought worse, trust me.
January 2, 2008
What's wrong with this movie: 7eventy 5ive
Some spoilers ahead, but don't bother watching this movie. If you're the type that enjoys self-abuse however, skip this post and go watch it now, then come back.
1) The title. Obnoxious. Seveneventy Fiveive is not a good name for a movie.
2) The cast. Two overly black black guys, an overly black fat white guy (yeah you read that right), no significant survivor girl, no sympathy for any of the characters. Oh and Rutger Hauer with a mismatched partner. This isn't a buddy-cop movie, he should've been solo.
3) The dialogue. A few lines made me laugh, I'll admit it, but overall just plain poor. I didn't believe any of the characters had met each other before the night on which the movie takes place. +5 pts to me for grammar.
4) The kills. Worst kills I've seen since I can remember. Stepping on a guys neck for a few seconds with no discernible pressure, then blood oozes out of his mouth? Punching a guy a few times? Come on. Two head choppings? I know there's only so much you can do with an axe but jeez.
5) The gore. Just bad. Did the two chopped-off-head guys not have spines? A slightly red line across the throat to signify a slashing? I almost missed that one actually, I couldn't figure out how they knew he was dead for a second. The blood spatter made no sense in any of the kills. It was gratuitous in one scene and completely lacking in the next.
6) The killers. I called the two-killer situation about halfway through the movie.. I couldn't even tell you why, just a feeling I had. Beyond that, making the main killer a random guy from an asylum we don't even find out about until the exposition scene? And then killing him immediately? Christ. It's like they read what people don't like to see in a killer and then used every scrap of info they could.
7) The ending. As above with regard to the killer and all the exposition taking place at the end. This is what's wrong with 90% of group of friends horror flicks, the killer's motivation isn't revealed until the end. Until then it's just a bunch of people that you don't care about being killed by someone you don't know for a reason that has yet to be revealed. The setting up overly black black guy #2 to be shot was different, which was nice, but I'm not sure an escaped mental patient (literally) would have the brains to think that up in the span of ten seconds. And the "surprise" ending of the asylum guy coming back.. both our killers are still alive guys! Let's hope for a sequel!
8) Boobs. One quick shot of a non-main character's fake boobies. Thumbs down.
9) The little things. So I guess that random caller that wanted their address was the pizza guy? Even though they already had pizza? Our secondary killer was at the damn party so he sure didn't call to find out where it was. The sleazy jerking off guy, just not necessary. Was it just me or did guy from the asylum fly at one point? I didn't even understand what was going on there, I watched the scene 4 times. The entire gas station sequence; the creepy-but-has-a-warning attendant, random kid, gross bathroom. All unnecessary. That random newscast at the gas station, I sincerely hope those were friends of the director. If not those actors should take up farming or something that doesn't require them to speak.
I was going to go for a marathon movie session and try to knock out 4 or 5 of the movies on the to-watch list, but after this, I couldn't continue. Magic Johnson you should be ashamed of yourself.
1) The title. Obnoxious. Seveneventy Fiveive is not a good name for a movie.
2) The cast. Two overly black black guys, an overly black fat white guy (yeah you read that right), no significant survivor girl, no sympathy for any of the characters. Oh and Rutger Hauer with a mismatched partner. This isn't a buddy-cop movie, he should've been solo.
3) The dialogue. A few lines made me laugh, I'll admit it, but overall just plain poor. I didn't believe any of the characters had met each other before the night on which the movie takes place. +5 pts to me for grammar.
4) The kills. Worst kills I've seen since I can remember. Stepping on a guys neck for a few seconds with no discernible pressure, then blood oozes out of his mouth? Punching a guy a few times? Come on. Two head choppings? I know there's only so much you can do with an axe but jeez.
5) The gore. Just bad. Did the two chopped-off-head guys not have spines? A slightly red line across the throat to signify a slashing? I almost missed that one actually, I couldn't figure out how they knew he was dead for a second. The blood spatter made no sense in any of the kills. It was gratuitous in one scene and completely lacking in the next.
6) The killers. I called the two-killer situation about halfway through the movie.. I couldn't even tell you why, just a feeling I had. Beyond that, making the main killer a random guy from an asylum we don't even find out about until the exposition scene? And then killing him immediately? Christ. It's like they read what people don't like to see in a killer and then used every scrap of info they could.
7) The ending. As above with regard to the killer and all the exposition taking place at the end. This is what's wrong with 90% of group of friends horror flicks, the killer's motivation isn't revealed until the end. Until then it's just a bunch of people that you don't care about being killed by someone you don't know for a reason that has yet to be revealed. The setting up overly black black guy #2 to be shot was different, which was nice, but I'm not sure an escaped mental patient (literally) would have the brains to think that up in the span of ten seconds. And the "surprise" ending of the asylum guy coming back.. both our killers are still alive guys! Let's hope for a sequel!
8) Boobs. One quick shot of a non-main character's fake boobies. Thumbs down.
9) The little things. So I guess that random caller that wanted their address was the pizza guy? Even though they already had pizza? Our secondary killer was at the damn party so he sure didn't call to find out where it was. The sleazy jerking off guy, just not necessary. Was it just me or did guy from the asylum fly at one point? I didn't even understand what was going on there, I watched the scene 4 times. The entire gas station sequence; the creepy-but-has-a-warning attendant, random kid, gross bathroom. All unnecessary. That random newscast at the gas station, I sincerely hope those were friends of the director. If not those actors should take up farming or something that doesn't require them to speak.
I was going to go for a marathon movie session and try to knock out 4 or 5 of the movies on the to-watch list, but after this, I couldn't continue. Magic Johnson you should be ashamed of yourself.
December 20, 2007
I just finished watching, aka: One line reviews
I watch a lot of movies. Like a LOT, so this is going to be a regular update on what I've watched in the last 24 hours or so, without spending too much time getting in depth with the films. If I really like em I'll revisit and flesh out a proper review, rant style.
Behind the Mask - I can't believe how awesome this film still is. The transition from mockumentary to horror movie is flawless, the acting is way above par for such an oddly laid out movie and a bunch of unknowns. It flat out explains the conventions of horror movies, and then flips everything completely upside down when the camera crew suddenly realizes Leslie is serious. I love that you can identify with the killer and you almost root for him.
Hatchet - I love the kills in this movie and the ending, which I won't give away because everyone should see it, is one of my favorite types of endings. I think a full fledged review of Hatchet will be forthcoming.
Curse II: The Bite - on the Baron's recommendation, was pleasantly surprised at an entertaining 80's creature film with plenty of typical "quirky" 80's characters.
The Retreat - If you even look at this movie I swear to god I will gouge your eyes out. Let me ruin the ending for you: it was all a dream. Seriously. Except it was a psychologically induced dream or some nonsense.
Lair of the White Worm - Hugh Grant + Lovecraft = ???. I remember renting this a lot when I was younger because there were boobs in it. It's actually based on a Bram Stoker novel, but there's a distinctly Lovecraftian feel to it.
Black Christmas (1974) - Yes again. The more I watch this movie the more I love it. Solid acting all around and those ridiculously creepy phone calls, so good. Not to mention at this point in cinema Horror was just getting its feet wet as its own genre, seperate from thrillers or dramas that had a few scares or a "dark" plot.
Feast - Passably amusing. I can't really say I like the movie itself, but I like the feel of it. Too much gross-out action, not enough action action. I'm looking forward to the two sequels coming up.
Tamara - I really like this movie. I can totally see people not liking it at all, but there's something about it that just grabs me and keeps me watching. Recommended for an unknown cast and a very cliche plot (accidental death, back from the dead for revenge) that somehow works, at least in my opinion.
The Hitcher (2007) - Love it. The no-reason killers are a favorite of mine, the only difference with this is that he's very human. He's not just an unstoppable killer behind a mask or stalking people through the woods. He is right there in your face.
AB-Normal Beauty - Japanese flick. I thought the movie itself was awful but the aesthetic of it was nice and for some reason the sound struck me as being exceptional. Hanging on to it for a second watch for sure.
Audition - Takashi Miike film, so so so good. If you haven't seen it and you like bizarre movies, you have to check this movie out. I wouldn't even know how to begin reviewing this other than to say it's highly recommended.
That's it for the last two days or so. And it's Christmas coming up, so more to come after the New Year kicks off.
Behind the Mask - I can't believe how awesome this film still is. The transition from mockumentary to horror movie is flawless, the acting is way above par for such an oddly laid out movie and a bunch of unknowns. It flat out explains the conventions of horror movies, and then flips everything completely upside down when the camera crew suddenly realizes Leslie is serious. I love that you can identify with the killer and you almost root for him.
Hatchet - I love the kills in this movie and the ending, which I won't give away because everyone should see it, is one of my favorite types of endings. I think a full fledged review of Hatchet will be forthcoming.
Curse II: The Bite - on the Baron's recommendation, was pleasantly surprised at an entertaining 80's creature film with plenty of typical "quirky" 80's characters.
The Retreat - If you even look at this movie I swear to god I will gouge your eyes out. Let me ruin the ending for you: it was all a dream. Seriously. Except it was a psychologically induced dream or some nonsense.
Lair of the White Worm - Hugh Grant + Lovecraft = ???. I remember renting this a lot when I was younger because there were boobs in it. It's actually based on a Bram Stoker novel, but there's a distinctly Lovecraftian feel to it.
Black Christmas (1974) - Yes again. The more I watch this movie the more I love it. Solid acting all around and those ridiculously creepy phone calls, so good. Not to mention at this point in cinema Horror was just getting its feet wet as its own genre, seperate from thrillers or dramas that had a few scares or a "dark" plot.
Feast - Passably amusing. I can't really say I like the movie itself, but I like the feel of it. Too much gross-out action, not enough action action. I'm looking forward to the two sequels coming up.
Tamara - I really like this movie. I can totally see people not liking it at all, but there's something about it that just grabs me and keeps me watching. Recommended for an unknown cast and a very cliche plot (accidental death, back from the dead for revenge) that somehow works, at least in my opinion.
The Hitcher (2007) - Love it. The no-reason killers are a favorite of mine, the only difference with this is that he's very human. He's not just an unstoppable killer behind a mask or stalking people through the woods. He is right there in your face.
AB-Normal Beauty - Japanese flick. I thought the movie itself was awful but the aesthetic of it was nice and for some reason the sound struck me as being exceptional. Hanging on to it for a second watch for sure.
Audition - Takashi Miike film, so so so good. If you haven't seen it and you like bizarre movies, you have to check this movie out. I wouldn't even know how to begin reviewing this other than to say it's highly recommended.
That's it for the last two days or so. And it's Christmas coming up, so more to come after the New Year kicks off.
December 19, 2007
Welcome to the OR
A love of horror movies and a lot of free time lead myself and a good friend of mine known as The Baron to make really obscure links between films, as well as getting into a lot of pseudo-reviews which came to be known as rants. We decided that anyone can watch a movie and tell you if they liked it and why, so why not make a review based more around observations on the film, how it came to be, who stars in it, who produced it etc. Thus Observational Reviews/The Operating Room was born.
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